So I reread my previous blog post, as I often do, and thought it deserved a follow up. My blog can be my vent, especially when Mark is gone so much and I'm alone. I'll type stuff I'd never open up to someone and share (funny I know since the tons of people read a blog! I'm weird....) So yes, those were my honest, deep down, had to type out to make sense thoughts. So many people responded and encouraged me that I was pretty shocked. I got so many messages and comments of support. You guys are really awesome - thank you. Made my day and I felt way better just knowing so many others struggle with some of the same things. I'm not alone in this!!!
BUT I also wanted to say that once I reread my blog later that day I thought it came across a little harsh. It sounded like I was saying moms with only one baby have a cake walk life with no struggles and that they should never complain. Yeah, not. Yes, one seems way easier in my mind, but I KNOW one can be so challenging! A friend commented, "Every woman I compare myself to has her own struggles, fears, burdens, feelings of inadequacy... but I rarely see her battles. Instead I see her pretty face, her perfectly behaved children, her magazine-worthy home, and the list goes on" Yes every woman has her own struggles and battles, whether she has one, two, three, or more children! Any woman who is a mom has my utmost respect and admiration.
There was also another area of comparison that I really struggle with that I didn't address. The moms who I think have it all together and "how can I be so scattered??" I do compare myself to moms with one baby thinking, "oh my gosh, life must be easy for them" but I so often I compare myself to moms of twins, triplets, or more than one kid and think "how do they do it? In that picture their floor is so clean. Wow their house is well decorated. They really look great. Oh they took their kids to go do THAT? Man, I must be a dump of a mom!" and the thoughts can run crazy....So destructive! It's like an ugly disease that infiltrates my mind.
So how do you battle it? Scripture. Truth. Powerful, pure, wonderful Scripture. If my heart, attitude, and mind are full of ugliness then it will come out in my actions. It's not a maybe, it's a definite. It affects me, it affects my husband, it affects my children.
The battle will always be there. But how I fight determines whether I win or lose.
4 comments:
I battle it by NOT being on Facebook! I've logged in to my sister's account to see pictures of friends, and I leave feeling the exact same way you just described. EVERY TIME!!!!! My sister deals with the same thoughts of comparison, and she's not even a mom. Blogging can do that too, but for me, it's not as massive. But when I feel those thougths creep in, I immediately log off.
OH yeah, good point Aubrey! Never really thought about it like that but its true!
I have dealt with this a lot, too, Jessica. I think your transparency is awesome, and obviously hits a nerve with lots of us young mama's!
http://freckled-pink.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-ministry.html
Check out this post I did last year... Love you!
Tori - thank you for the encouragement! I just read your post and it was exactly what I needed. Thx girl :) Love you too!
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